Letter to my Heart…

My Heart,

Where do I start from? On that blessed day you walked into my life, innocence was all that surrounded us. Your eloquence in the midst of stuttering wannabes was the first impression I had of you. Being brought up by a mother like mine, spoken English had to be impeccable. I never even spoke good Yoruba till I was in college 😊. You grabbed my attention immediately.

In a sea of unknown faces, your demeanor stuck out like the peak of Mount Fuji. Not a shy person have I ever been but the moment our eyes clicked, I felt mad conscious! You sauntered my way and I almost ran….lol

Names exchanged and friendship started. A bond I was glad to form with you. I looked forward to seeing you each day. Our talks ranged from the weather, news, politics, religion, family to the mundane things around us. I laughed at all your jokes. Your smile always warmed my heart.

I had found a new best friend. I barely even noticed the rest of our colleagues. The world consisted of only 2 of us.

Then life struck!!! We had to go our separate ways. Chase our dreams and build our individual lives.We lost contact and didn’t keep in touch for years.

I remembered your face and your name never escaped my mind. Everytime I came across someone who might know you, I always asked if they were in touch with you or knew what’s up with you. Nobody seemed to know your whereabouts but they always had great things to say about you as they recounted memories of your years as colleagues.

Years go by, a number of relationships and I almost forgot all about you. I, from time to time fondly remembered my great youthful crush that never went beyond that because our time together was short.

15 years pass by and we connect again, howbeit long distance. We were grown, somewhat living our dreams and growing daily. We spoke as often as we could. I was dating and you just got out of a relationship. You were always sweet to me when we talked initially and I somehow missed the signs. Your mind had grown larger. Your rationale on life so expansive. Most of all your passion for God, very intoxicating. Everytime I spoke with you, it was like a session at Oprah’s life class!!! I learnt something new and interesting all the time.

We eventually picked up from where we left off. Bridged the distance between us with visits. You opened my eyes and heart to new cultures, food, music, life of different countries. Everyday spent with you was romance filled. I remember our first trip to Italy, as we walked the cobbled stone streets of Positano, you held my hand all through leading me like a little kid. Later that evening we had dinner overlooking the ocean. A lone rose in the vase between us beside the lit candle. You reached for my hand across the table and said, its been your dream to treat me to dinners like this…. Wow!!!

You came to visit and we took a road trip to Sedona, Arizona. As we hiked the hills, I slipped on some loose rocks. You half carried me and supported me all the way back down to the camp ground. The weight of my body leaning on you all the way down and not once did you seem tired. My prince in shining armor. As you massaged in the Bengay ointment to my bruised ankle, you made jokes about, “we need ‘aboniki’ instead!” Lordie, I laughed so hard the other campers around thought we were doing the nasty and I had gotten loud…..lol.

See even through the times we spent together, so intimate yet pure. For a minute there, I was a little perplexed. I was so used to being seen as a sexual object by most guys. All you were interested in was my mind. My faith, integrity and truth. I recall asking if you ever were sexually attracted to me as you never made a move in that direction. Your response was, “Of cos darlyn, I am only saving the best part of what we share till the time is right.” O ma ga gaan oooh. For this life???

These past 3 years with you have been so unbelievable. You have wiped away every memory of heartbreaks and disappointments I had been through. I thought I knew what love was till you walked back into my life and showed me love beyond my imagination. You pay attention to the minutest details about me. You taught me about selflessness. We took a trip to Kenya and instead of sightseeing, we volunteered at a village clinic. Seeing you carry that preemie born a month early and feeding her as you gently cooed her to sleep in your arms. Looking back at that moment, my heart swells with love and pride for the man you are through grace.

You are a great reservoir of enthusiasm. Regardless of what may be going on, all that leaves your mouth are positive words of encouragement. Listening to you pray at the end of our phone calls is like hearing man converse face to face with God. You make God even more real and closer in my walk of faith.

Last December, we took another trip to Italy, this time to Capri, to celebrate my birthday. We just got done talking with the fisher men along the docks, getting to know the city and people better as this Amalfi Coast was fast becoming our favorite vacation spot. We chartered a sail boat on the spur of the moment and went out to sea. It was a very calm evening and the tides were very low. At 6pm, the boat captain asked if we were ready for dinner and we said yes. On the dock, set out was a table for two. White linen table clothe, silverware gleaming in the sunset and a bouquet of calla lilies. We sat down and got dinner served to us. Instrumental music sweetly wafting mixed in with the soft splash of ocean water against the boat. The scenery was beautiful and serene. We ate, talked and had a lovely time. You put your hand in your pocket and I almost choked on my glass of vino. You took out your phone and placed it on the table and I let out a sigh. Both disappointed and relieved. Very weird….

Nightfall and we were back on solid ground. We went to the night market and took in the local night life replete with kids running around, live music, tourists like us bargaining the wares for sale. We walked up to a small pedestrian bridge, watching the night life from above, taking pictures and relaxing. You had your arms around me, holding me from behind, you whispered to my ears, “I love you.” I heard it in my soul. I turned around and you kissed me on the forehead, the very spot you knew I liked. Then you let go of me and got on one knee, my hand flew to my mouth, holding back a squeal, cry, scream. Hand in pocket again, you pulled out a burgundy box, tears falling from my eyes and even before you said anything, I was already nodding “YES”, and you laughed saying, “chill now.” Both laughing and crying, you asked and I said yes again 😊😊😊😊😍😍😍😍

All that, now here we are today. As you open your wedding gift from me, I am thanking you for giving my heart a beat again. For the smiles, laughs, joy and friendship shared. For your selflessness, your truth. For loving me in my brokenness, for not judging me, for encouraging me. For showing me Jesus in you. For the life we are starting today. Most of all I thank you for YOU. My best friend, lover and companion. From you, a rib was taken. Created, I stand as your woman today, before God, family and loved ones. To protect your heart, support you and love you with every ounce of me.

Congratulations to a favored man!!!

And we all say awwwwwwww…….. 😁😁😁😁😋😋😋😋